Everything we've had.

After keeping myself busy for so long, i finally came to realise that my heart is still aching over the past. Not that its love, but its just something left unsettled. It brings tears to my eyes, aches to my heart and also saddness to my mind.

Why cant 2 ex lovers be friends? Why cant we live amicably and be good friends? Why must we have such awful conversations with each other time after time? Why cant we have a proper talk and sort things out and then FINALLY be friends again? It hurts so badly you know?

I have to keep up with so many things happening in my life. I have to please many people thts surrounding me, I need to consider many factors before i even decide to do something. For the mistakes i've made before, im sorry. For the harsh treatments i gave before, im sorry. I just want to have a proper conclusion of how we were, and how we could be. I know things wont go my way because of your stubborness, but all i wanna do is to try, even if chances are slim.

Life hasnt been easy after the toll, life hasnt been smooth after the call for an end. But i just want something thats the best for us and something that would keep us strong as friends. I wanna love your family and you equally AS FAMILY. Sigh. this is just such a heartache.